Wednesday, February 28

And here you thought I forgot...

Happy Black History Month!!!!!!!
That's right, kids, it's Black History Month. The shortest month of the year. The only month that gets a free day courtesy of the leap year dole. The new Super Bowl month. A month when we reflect on all the injustices done to our brothers and sisters of color and laud the accomplishments they have striven for in the face of white oppression.
This year, I'd like to point out a terrible war crime in the ongoing war against oppression. Of course you all naturally know what I'm talking about, but I'm going to bring it up anyway: the noticeable absence of the black man in advertising.
I present for your consideration the ADI's Exhibit A: Advertisements Against Drunk Driving. Consider the following - an officer of the law pulls over a car, filled nearly to the brim with what is presumed to be a martini (as shown by the numerous olives floating in it). A white man (hereinafter White Man 1) tells the officer "I've only had a couple". The next scenes reveals the same situation, only in this car White Man 2 is marinating in beer. In the next scene, White Man 3 is soaked in what appears to be a Cosmopolitan (obviously representing the gay community, because only gay men drink cosmos).
What point am I trying to make? My point is that in none of these situations is the black man fairly represented. The commercial ends with a simple "You Drink, You Drive, You Lose" slogan without even a phat beat in the background to give a token nod to our population of color. This is Ludacris!
Where is the black man in these commercials? What about all the honest-to-god African-Americans and Halfrican-Americans who are out there, day after day, drinking themselves into intoxicated stupors, spending even their last DOLLAR to do so? What about the men who are out there, seeking support from the white community at two in the afternoon, asking for just a quarter to buy themselves a malt beverage, trying their damnedest to make sure that they will be good and soused before nightfall even arrives and Happy Hour be DAMNED?! What about the men drinking hard out in da clubz, wher' e'erbody be gettin' tipsy, who will go the extra mile and inhale controlled substances to ensure that one day, maybe one day, they will be able to lick the brass ring and finally Make It by appearing in an anti drunk driving commercial? Why has the white community forsaken them with its lily-white oppresive patriarchal elitist supremacist advertising when the black man is doing his part so well?
I would like to take this opportunity to thank my brothers and sisters of color for being there alongside their white oppressors at two in the morning, pulled over for going the wrong way down a one-way sidewalk, and doing their part to ensure that the world we live in will never again be afflicted by the Puritanical boredom of a teetotaling society.
The ADI's Exhibit B: Submitted for your consideration, the following advertisement - a white man buys a (fill in the blank: computer, tool, house, dog, cell phone, baby), takes it home, and has no idea what to do with it. You've all seen these commercials. It's always the white man who has enough money to purchase a product he doesn't even know how to use. What about the black man? What are you trying to say, Council of Jews in Charge of the World's Advertising? Are you trying to imply that the black man isn't perfectly capable of purchasing a product he can't use? What about the urban soldiers out there, purchasing phones with mp3 players and blue tooths and Internet options that they can't even AFFORD, let alone use? Are you going to forsake them in your quest to point out the fact that the white man can purchase non-essential items with his vast riches gleaned from the blood of oppressed slaves? Where is the black man in all of these commercials? Why does the white man have to be the one who turns to his wife for help, who will inevitably tell him to go to Geek Squad (Geek Squad, please sponsor me) to get his hi-tech problems solved? Are you saying that only white people have wives? Why isn't a baby momma sufficient? Why am I asking so many questions?

In all seriousness, I'm sick of white men being portrayed as the only bumbling, drunken buffoons on television. It's about time we gave the black man a chance.

Happy Black History Month. Bring me a fo'ty.
Click this shit!

1 Bullshit Responses:

Anonymous Anonymous left the following bullshit...

Aw snaps! You cold fo dat, but you speaks tha troof. i mean, why come da black man don't be in no commercials where he be gettin lost and den refusin to ax fo di-rections spite da fact his baby momma be tellin him to ax fo di-rections? and den dey push da onstar and shit. nigga, thats wak!

~Deron Jerome Lamb

4:10 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home