Saturday, May 21

Eating Disorder vs. Eating Problem

Wondering if you have an eating disorder? How about if you have an eating problem? Here are ten ways to tell between an eating disorder and an eating problem!


Eating Problem: You order "All You Can Eat Buffet" as an appetizer.
Eating Disorder: "All You Can Eat" is half a packet of Equal diluted in some tap waer.

Eating Disorder: After you eat, you puke.
Eating Problem: After you eat, other people puke.

Eating Disorder: You're constantly running laps in order to stay in shape.
Eating Problem: In order to stay in shape, people run laps around you.

Eating Disorder: You're constantly isolating parts of your body that you're not happy with and judging them whenever you look in a mirror.
Eating Problem: You do the same thing...but that's only because you haven't found a mirror big enough to show you your entire body.

Eating Disorder: You see Calista Flockhart as a role model.
Eating Problem: You see Calista Flockhart as a potential snack.

Eating Disorder: Because of your figure, people are constantly mistaking you for a twelve-year-old.
Eating Problem: Because of your figure, people are constantly mistaking you for a group of five people.

Eating Disorder: Because of your weight, it's a bad idea for you to walk around outside on a windy day.
Eating Problem: Because of your weight, it's a bad idea for you to go anywhere near the ocean if Captain Ahab is at the helm of his Piquod.

Eating Problem: You're a big fan of the Atkins diet.
Eating Disorder: You're a big fan of Dr. Werner's diet (Click here to read about it.)

Eating Disorder: You've grown accustomed to the taste of your finger down your throat.
Eating Problem: On days when you're bored, you stare at your finger and seriously consider it as a viable snack.

Eating Problem
: When you say "I could eat like a horse," you literally mean, "I could eat, like, an entire horse."
Eating Disorder: When you say "I could eat like a horse," you literally mean that two sugar cubes and a carrot would really hit the spot.
Click this shit!

3 Bullshit Responses:

Blogger bulb left the following bullshit...

My ex had an eating disorder.
Here's some wise advice from the 36 yo dude:
NEVER EVER EVER EVER!!!!!!!!! SCREW AROUND WITH A BULEMIC!!!!
(Don't care how hot they look.)

2:20 PM  
Blogger kris left the following bullshit...

i was laughing so hard at this. thank you for bringing humor to my morning. buys ya a round.

9:38 AM  
Blogger Le chameau insatiable left the following bullshit...

drinking disorder : the person has 2 lagers and pukes.
drinking problem : the person has 10 guinesses and parties on (that would be me, hehe).

10:47 AM  

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