Wednesday, April 20

The "W" in "IWU" apparently stands for "white trash"

I was raised in a white trash area, in the country near a town most people wouldn't spend more time in than it takes to get the directions to somewhere else. I've seen the squalor, the apathy, and the overall filth that forms a scab-like film over such areas. I hate it. When I went to college, I thought I had escaped all that bullshit. Apparently, I haven't.

Today all the white trashiness came crashing in on me in a most unexpected way. When I woke up, I went into the shower and noticed that the other shower my suite shares with the adjoining suite was curtained off. I didn't pay it much mind. I showered and went about my business. Later on in the day, however, one of my suitemates informed me that I had had a most unpleasant shower companion in the adjoining shower: a deer skeleton.
Yes, that's right. A fucking deer skeleton. Apparently it had been put there by one of the members of the other suite (who is incidentally from my home town). It smelled like rotting meat, and its general appearance was fucking ghastly. The guy responsible for putting the skeleton in the shower actually took a shower with it; he claims that "the closer you are to death, the more you feel alive."
Bullshit.
This skeleton was in the shower from the morning until about 8:30 at night. Routinely, someone would come into the bathroom and spray it with deodorizing spray. You know, to make it seem more like it belonged in our shower instead of out in a field being scavenged by coyotes and other vermin. The sickening part about this whole ordeal is that the adjoining suite refused to take the skeleton out. They claimed that it was their "mascot", and that they wanted it there. I can't even begin to fathom the sort of mind that requires a putrescent decayed corpse in a cleansing area in order to display their group's solidarity.
After much pleading and threatening on the part of my roommate, they eventually removed the carcass. But did they throw it in the trash or in a field? No. They duct-taped this deer skeleton to a tree in the middle of our university's quad. It's right on the main path to the library for all to see.

I'm not making any of this shit up. Nor am I forcing the anger in my tone. I know most of the times when I'm "angry" in my posts it's in a largely tongue-in-cheek way. Not this time. This shit is ridiculous. This is an institute of higher fucking learning. If you want to go around duct-taping skeletons to trees and spitting chewing tobacco and drinking shitty beer, then get the fuck out of here. Go back to your inbred pig-fucking trailer park squalor; don't bring it around me just because you feel homesick. There are places for people like this, and college is not one of them. If you're someone who steals beer signs from gas stations, or someone who chews tobacco, or someone who picks up fucking rotten fucking CARCASSES and puts them in places where other people go to get CLEAN and leave them there all day so they drip liquefied deer brains onto the fucking wall, then get the fuck out of my university. Go back to your trailer park and pick up the family pig-fucking business. I hate white trash, I hate the place where I came from, and I HATE when people try to bring it into my sphere. Get the fuck out of my fucking sight, you worthless shits.

I'm really fucking mad.
Click this shit!

3 Bullshit Responses:

Anonymous Anonymous left the following bullshit...

Atta boy Austin, give those pig-fuckers hell...

8:55 AM  
Blogger Sexy Karen left the following bullshit...

That has got to be the funniest fucking thing I have ever heard in my entire fucking life. Oh I'm real sure he just wanted to be closer to death, and that's why he showered with the deer carcass. I have three words for that dude: perverse animal fetish. People like that shouldn't just go back to their trailer. They should be locked in it with no windows and no contact with the outside world until they lose their mind and gnaw off their own legs in the throes of frustration.

11:00 AM  
Blogger Machine left the following bullshit...

Chances are that dude was skull-fucking the deer and used that bullshit "Closer to Death you feel Alive" excuse to cover it all up.

12:23 AM  

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