Tuesday, April 26

University students are retards

Recently there has been a debate on campus regarding the amount of student representation allotted by the administration. Specifically, some students were angry about the fact that some professors were not granted tenure when they (the students) felt that tenure was deserved. Because of this, a paper rain of illegible rantings and a veritable geyser of illogical diatribes have engulfed our campus in a deluge of self-righteous opinionated bullshit. So of course, I have to go on my shitty blog and give my opinion. In case you missed the giant orange title, let me state it again for you: university students are retards.
I know a lot of intelligent students on this campus, but I am hard pressed to think of five people whom I think deserve a hand in the administrative process. If it were up to university students, professors would be granted tenure solely on the ease with which they ran their classed. A professor who assigned only a five page paper for the semester would get tenure over a professor who actually ensured that his students learned something any day. Why? Because students here are lazy and stupid.
The specific argument that circles around campus has to do with a professor who won the prestigious "Student Senate Professor of the Year" Award and yet somehow still managed to avoid tenure. Students are protesting that the fact that this professor won an award should entitle her to automatic tenure. They are wrong.
Let me describe to you the way the Student Senate works: people who have too much time on their hands run for a seat in the Senate. When ballots are passed out, the rest of the student body looks at it, weighs the options carefully, and then makes a well-informed decision based on who they think will perform in their best interest. Just kidding! Once those ballots are passed out it's purely a popularity contest. The most well-known person gets elected, regardless of what kind of job they'll do.
After this step, I'm not sure what goes on in a Student Senate meeting. From what I hear, they just sit around a flush money down the toilet. Seriously. A friend of mine started a bowling club, which would consist of its members going to an alley and bowling, and she appealed to Student Senate for some cash to support said club. They gave her $500. What the hell is this shit? If I would have known that the univeristy was going to pay me to be white trash, I would've put a lawn chair on the quad and been sitting in it with a Busch Light can in my hand ever since freshman year. Student Senate also does a number of other wonderful things for us: they bring in bands to play so that we can take time off from our hard lives of video games and watching the free cable TV we get, they give money to other worthless groups, and they vote for the Professor of the Year. All in all, I'd have to say that I feel completely fucked in the butt knowing that part of my tuition money is going to pay for this kind of "representation".
Where was I going with this? Oh yeah. So after all the bullshit and crazy talk, the school newspaper (a fine literary resource to read on the toilet in case you should run out of toilet paper) ran a "Man on the Street" piece wherein they asked members of the student body if students should have more of a say in the tenure process. All eight people they interviewed said "yes". One asshole even went so far as to say that students should have half the power in the tenure process.
That's bullshit.
Students don't know shit. They don't know how to balance a budget, they don't know what qualifies a professor as being worthy of tenure, and most of the students I know on this campus wouldn't even know how to pour piss out of a boot if there were a hole in the toe and instructions written on the heel (to use a down-home term). They've gone through their lives having their parents take care of them, and the only reason they still attend this school is because Mom and Dad pay for their asses to go here. They want a say in the tenure process because they're pissed that their "voice isn't being heard" (translation: I'm a little whiny shit-baby and I've gotten everything I've ever wanted my entire life, and now that I'm not getting my way in real world situations I'm throwing a bitch fit).
University students need to grow the fuck up. Your voice isn't being heard because you don't know anything. We know you like this professor, but if the tenure committee decrees that she doesn't deserve tenure then you should shut the fuck up and accept it. No, you don't deserve half of the say in the tenure process because you're a shit-nosed little fuck whose parents still give you laundry money and spending cash whenever you request it. You have no idea what the fuck you're talking about, and your "voice" doesn't deserve to be heard. Life doesn't always turn out rosy. Sometimes you have to accept the fact that you don't know shit and trust that other people who, while they may not necessarily be smarter than you, have had more education than you in such matters make your decisions for you.
The antagonizing bitch babies in this whole debacle also noted that of the professors who didn't receive tenure, one was black, one was openly gay, and one was a militant feminist. They claimed that not giving these professors tenure was depriving our campus of diversity. I'm not even going to give my opinions on that, except to say this: a person's achievements should far outweigh their skin color, sexual preference, and beliefs. Always.

Long story short: TSWTFs (my roommate's term for the students at our campus, it stands for "Tortured Souls With Trust Funds") should shut the fuck up and go back to being coddled by their parents. Students deserve no representation in any administrative matters, because they're all a bunch of fucking retards who aren't even intelligent enough to know that they aren't worth a fart in a high wind (another down-home term; I'm hoping that if I use enough of them Student Senate will give me money for being white trash...hell, they might even bring me a drink).
Click this shit!

4 Bullshit Responses:

Blogger bulb left the following bullshit...

I used to hate students..... and still do. My whole fraternity did. Ehm..... well you might wanna check out my links section.
It's free.... it's from the heart and you wont even have to sleep with me.

6:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous left the following bullshit...

Yeah creepy 36 year olds checking out college kids' shit. I hope he's your uncle, or at least your butt buddy. P.S. IWU doesn't give tenure to black people. Period. I'm surprised any black students even got in here with Dean "I'm a stupid cunt who screams racial obscenities at basketball games" Routi. Wow. I don't miss that guy at all. D-bag.

Smooches!
Matt

6:49 PM  
Blogger bulb left the following bullshit...

That last comment proves this posts title.

3:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous left the following bullshit...

Well for a start you're clearly not really Irish you typical American fuckwit wannabe and I suspect you don't even know how to drink - dickhead. Boring piece of shite.

7:02 AM  

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