Thursday, March 24

Bridget Jones is a fat stupid whore...Bridget Jones 2, that is

I saw the second Bridget Jones movie last night. It sucked. I really liked the first one; my girlfriends and I all sat up watching it and making popcorn and giggling while clutching our Hello Kitty pillows to our flannel Sponge Bob jammies. I must confess, when she ran out the door in her leopard-print panties and found out that the guy who read her diary wasn't leaving her but was in fact buying her a new diary....well, I don't think I've ever wept so hard in my life.

But the second Bridget Jones movie sucked balls. Bridget got fatter and more whorish. She's stupider. She's not even charming anymore. In the first movie, she was someone I could relate to - someone with wacky feminine quirks like me and someone who liked to sit around pouting and sleeping with sleazy guys like I do. But in this second movie, she just turned into a stupid bitch. I think Bridget Jones 1 and Bridget Jones 2 should fight. Bridget Jones 1 would win, because I would jump out of the shadows and barbecue Bridget Jones 2's fat ass with a flamethrower, then douse her in barbecue sauce and send her ass to Ethiopia, at which point Ethiopia would become the fattest nation on earth just for ingesting that piece of shit. I hate Bridget Jones 2.

Bridget Jones 2 makes me want to drink. Fuck you, Bridget Jones 2. You suck....not even the token lesbian kiss you threw in to appease the jocks who got dragged to this movie with their bimbo girlfriends can grant you any sort of redemption. Bridget Jones 2 = dirty butt sex with a diarrhetic infant.
Click this shit!

2 Bullshit Responses:

Blogger bulb left the following bullshit...

You've done better shit.

8:04 AM  
Blogger The Angry Drunken Irishman left the following bullshit...

Yeah, I know. It was kind of forced. I wasn't nearly Angry or Drunk enough, I was just kind of pissed that the movie didn't meet my expectations and needed an excuse to avoid doing a listening diary for music history, so I kind of shit that one out. My apologies.

11:05 AM  

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