Tuesday, February 22

I hate guys like this


This guy is gay on so many levels. I could write for thirteen years and bring all my literary expertise to the fore, and I still don't think I would be able to express how gay this guy is and how gay his site is. Gay gay gay gay gay. What a fag.

Who the hell does this kind of stuff? Who the fuck posts pictures of women on a website and calls them bitches just because they refuse him. For your benefit, Mr. Fag-man, I have decided to compose a quick step-by-step which will guarantee that you get laid. Here they are....
Step 1 Be attractive.
Step 2 Go to a college, preferably on a weekend.
Step 3 Go to a frat party.
Step 4 Pretend to give a shit about what a drunk girl thinks.
Step 5 Repeat as necessary.

There you go. Now you can get laid and stop posting this bullshit to your gay ass website. Wait, frat parties not your thing? Here's another scenario for you. This might be more palatable to people of your ilk:
Repeat Steps 1 and 2 from above
Step 3
Go to some "cast party" after a theater production, or find some hippies to take you to a dimly lit house where people are smoking pot and discussing Foucault and Ayn Rand while throwing around words like "society" and "existential" when the only word that really applies to them is "solipsistic."
Step 4 Tell some girl you're a playwright or a novelist. Don't say you're a writer; all those fuckers are writers. Act like you're legitimately doing something more productive with your life than updating your Star Trek fan blog. If she asks where she can find some of your work, make up a name and tell her it's an "independent up-and-coming publishing house/producer." A good name to use is something like "Isis Gate" or "Puerta de la Diabla". Something with a tint of mythology to it and a touch of feminism to make her think you give a shit about her feelings and also that you're exotic. If she asks what your work is about, tell her it's about the plight of the peasant class in modern Chechnia. If you could work up some tears while doing this, you will get laid right on the spot. Try thinking about the time your mom threw away one of your comic books. At the same time, try to look masculine.
Step 5 Repeat as necessary.

The problem, Mr. "I say I'm an 'intellectual whore' when I'm actually neither of these things" is that you suck. Either you know what to do to get the ladies and you're too pussy to apply it (or you hide behind some pseudo-altruistic facade of not wanting to exploit people), or you have no idea what to do when it comes to women and you're just a huge bitch about it. Either way, you suck.

Also, a quick side note: for someone with as many grammatically abhorrent errors in his writing as you have, I don't think it's fair for you to assume any air of intellectualism. I suggest that you stop worrying about mastering the art of lady-catching and start worrying about mastering simple grammar.
You make me want to drink. But then again, so does everything else, so don't feel too proud of yourself.
Click this shit!

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